anchors

Photo by Anna Cummings Photography

Travis and I watched our two dogs, Neville and Katniss, from live web cams for nearly four hours because it was hard to look away. They were being “interviewed” for doggie day camp and needed to prove they could get along with other dogs, not bite humans, that sort of thing.

I could imagine what it might be like for people with human children, watching daycare live cams while crossing their fingers that their kids will be the friendly ones who fit in and invite others to join them. No one wants to see their child afraid or acting like a bully. When you know everything about the animals or humans you’re raising - their personality traits and quirks - it’s easy to worry while hoping for the best.

As we expected, Neville was immediately in his element. He entered the room with confidence and quickly gave a play bow to a golden retriever. He looked like he was smiling the entire time - he was calm, licked other dogs on their faces, and laid down when he got tired. Katniss was the one we were more unsure about, and also true to herself, she was nervous, kept her tail down and paced a lot. One of the biggest things that stood out to me was how she never left Neville for too long. He was her “person” - the one friend in the room she could trust. She would walk around the room or to the outside area, then come back and sit behind him. She would wag her tail for him, then quickly put it straight down again for other dogs.

This was a little bit of a surprise to me because sometimes we can’t tell how Katniss feels about Neville, and at home, she’s made herself the Alpha. She’s relatively new to us - she’s our pandemic puppy we adopted in May - and she’s still getting used to our home. Some days she will readily play in the backyard with Neville, and other days she’s strictly a people dog. We’ve witnessed jealousy and even some aggression, but with time she seems to lean more on Neville - copying the way he approaches strangers at the door, in the neighborhood, and other dogs. I’ve even seen her lay right next to him, her head resting against or on his lower back. She even returns his kisses sometimes.

Both of our dogs passed the interview and they can come back to day camp - phewf - and hopefully over time, Katniss will see the facility as a fun place when she can get more warmed up. For now, the employees confirmed everything we saw from our phones and one of them said, “Katniss used Neville as her anchor.”

An anchor. I loved it. Her dog brother. The one who can keep her grounded when she’s feeling a bit lost and afraid.

And then my heart exploded and I was so proud of our pups.

I’ve been thinking since then about anchors in my life - the people who remind me I’m OK. I’m so grateful for them. I don’t think of this type of anchor as someone who holds me in place and keeps me from becoming and exploring more. I think of these people as safe harbors at times I am afraid to do something new, or places to rest when my energy is depleted.

This year has been a tough one - I’ll say it over, and over, and over because it continues to be true. However, even through everything, I’m so grateful for my anchors. They are the people I exchange text messages and Marco Polos with, the ones who traveled down to New Mexico to spend quality time with us, the ones who listen through tears, the ones who continue to find and create joy through unprecedented times, the ones who showed up immediately after Travis’ dad passed away, the ones who are still up for adventure on new trails, the ones who ended days with me in curled over laughter, the ones who challenge me to think differently about many parts of life, the one who is my guaranteed dance partner, and the one who tells me it’s OK to dream of new things for myself.

There have been moments this year that made me stop, but I didn’t sink. I just needed to rest for a while in the comfort of friends and family until I could think of the next thing.

I’ll keep watching my dogs for some of life’s simple answers. With their innocence comes so much wisdom. In fact, they’re two of my anchors, too.