brave
I’ve been tossing around the word “brave” in my mind the last few days, planning to write about a moment I’d been courageous and how it led me to something greater. I thought about writing every detail about the first and only time I went repelling outdoors as a teenager. I also thought about sharing a story from early this year when I climbed down the side of a wet, slippery cliff using sketchy ladders and chains to get to a waterfall.
However, I realized that while those moments were both scary and both required courage, neither are the type of brave that I want to celebrate right now.
In both of those instances, I knew the ending, and neither would have been terrible. In the case of repelling, I had experienced guides and ropes and no matter what my irrational brain told me, and how much my hands were shaking, the core of me knew I wouldn’t fall. We didn’t repel off a super high cliff - I could see the ground and knew what I was in for. And in the case of the ladders and chains, I knew I’d be rewarded with the most beautiful waterfall I’d ever seen.
I think the kind of bravery we need more of in this world is the kind that moves us forward even when there aren’t any guarantees. It’s already out there every day, but it’s not always recognized and celebrated.
Being brave is when you don’t know what’s on the other side. It’s trusting that whatever happens, it was enough to follow your heart.
Right now the world feels uncertain. We have unique problems that we haven’t necessarily faced before at this scale. Most of the time, I don’t think it’s worth it to look toward our nation’s leaders to show us what it looks like to be courageous. The bravest people I know are working to change their lives and help others around them. They are starting new businesses in the middle of a pandemic, creating new art, having tough conversations about race in our country, and they serve at food banks on the weekends.
The really strong people I know make brave choices for the long haul without knowing if the end will lead to any gratification at all. They do it because their soul tells them too, and they wait to see results, come what may.
I made a list of decisions I’ve seen in my own life, made by those who were brave. Some of them are opposite of each other because they fit different circumstances. There is never only one right way to live a brave life.
If you have a few minutes this week, try writing a list of your own. I think when we see courage in the people we love and write it down, it encourages us to be brave in our own lives - with the big and seemingly small choices.
Moving across the country
Setting boundaries in spite of who they might hurt
Being clear
Asking for help
Telling loved ones about abuse
Changing careers
Beginning a new career after years of not working
Pushing “publish”
Hitting “send” on an important email
Having tough conversations over and over with the same person
Raising a biological child
Adopting a child
Adopting a pet
Entering a hospital to hold your loved one’s hand, knowing it might be the last time
Trying to mend a broken relationship
Staying in relationship
Ending a relationship
Starting cancer treatment
Stopping cancer treatment
Joining the military
Running a campaign
Planning an event
Getting off social media
Asking a doctor for antidepressants, anti-anxiety pills, or other types of medications
Trying to get off medications
Sitting in front of a therapist
Letting go of a parent
Letting go of a child
Letting go of anyone, really
Going against party lines
Finding your own spiritual path