Building Resilience During Disasters

Setting small, short term goals can provide purpose as pandemic continues

Part two in a series about the Phases of Disaster and Resilience

One of the goals I set this year was to work on improving my mornings. I’m trying to start each day with a glass of water, a brief meditation, and some type of movement. For many of you, this may not seem like a big deal, but I am not a morning person and for as long as I can remember, waking up early enough to arrive anywhere on time has been a struggle. Adding anything additional like a breathing exercise, sunrise salutations or an indoor bike ride is a big feat.

In some small way, I hope this is building resilience and enabling me to take more control of my life in 2021 following many months that felt turbulent and chaotic. The goal so far has been hit-and-miss, but when it works out, it feels like I gained a little more power back.

In the presentation on the Phases of Disaster that I mentioned in my last blog post, Kira Mauseth of the Washington State Department of Health said resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, and significant sources of stress. Aspects of resilience can be developed and learned, and that is reassuring.

Since the Phases of Disaster are relatable to our collective experience of the pandemic, I read additional articles on the subject and Mauseth was interviewed in some of them. I especially appreciated a 7-minute radio interview where she shared the recipe for resilience concisely, saying that it can be developed by focusing on purpose, connection, flexibility/adaptability, and hope. In my next few posts, I’ll focus on each aspect, starting with purpose.

Searching for purpose

It might be helpful to think about what got you out of bed each day prior to the pandemic, and what gets you out of bed now. For those who continue to face each day with uncertainty and low energy, it could be because a part of life isn’t fulfilled in a way it used to be, and we’re holding on to the way things were before COVID-19. It could also be because nailing down what’s missing or wrong can be challenging.

In the radio interview, Mauseth said in order to feel a sense of control, we can ask ourselves what drives and motivates us, then think on a smaller scale and shorter term. She suggested setting goals that can be completed within the week, rather than looking too far in the future, and she suggests allowing ourselves to experience successes.

I’ve personally find it helpful to set some very easy goals each week, including something that is fun like wearing jewelry or painting my toenails. It helps me feel like I accomplished something, even if it’s small and frivolous. I’ve also found some success in planning exercise goals three days at a time, rather than a whole week.

Creating goals that fit within values

I’m beginning to dive deeper into what I see as my more impactful purposes in life that reside outside work and goals, and instead on my values.

A little more than a year ago, I read “Dare to Lead” by Brene Brown and she suggested completing an exercise involving a long list of values that had to be narrowed down to two. It’s challenging in some ways, but it’s a relatively quick way to gain insight on what you find most important. I narrowed the list down to the values kindness and fun. Additional top contenders were connection and friendship.

If you’d like to do the exercise, you could follow it with setting short term, accessible goals that exemplify the values. For example, I recently signed up to volunteer at a local food bank which fits within my kindness value, and I planned a hike with Travis that fits within fun. Both goals are relatively easy to complete, but because they fit within my values, they will most likely feel more intentional, and give me a sense of purpose, control, and success.

Diving into all emotions to discover what’s missing

I’m at the very beginning of trying to explore feelings and emotions at a deeper level and embrace the concept that many of the emotions we describe as negative are actually teaching us, meaning they can potentially be positive in the long run. I’m learning to experience an emotion and imagine it upside-down, inside-out, and outside-in so that I know why I felt it in the first place.

In preparing to write this post, I searched the word “purpose” in my digital journal, but it wasn’t in the posts where purpose was written that I was reminded of what some of my purposes are. 

For example, on July 15, 2020, I wrote, “If there is one thing I want to share, it’s that COVID-19 is lonely. It’s so incredibly lonely some days … there is so much time within every day, every weekend, every week where my world feels incredibly small - too small. I want other people who also feel lonely to know they’re not feeling that alone. We are living through a very strange time, the big picture is scary, and the finish line is unknown.”

And on Oct. 1, 2020, I wrote, “So much has changed this year, so much lost. I think there is a constant ache inside me. I am lonely. I mourn the world that we lost before all of this happened. I’ve never felt so disconnected from the human race - from my friends - from peace - as I do right now. It’s burning me, eating me from the outside in.”

While those entries may be hard to read, they are helpful to me now because I see them more clearly. If I flip loneliness upside-down, its opposite is connection, something I was obviously missing, and one of my top values. In the July post, I also mentioned that I didn’t want others to feel alone. I believe this comes from a kind place inside me - one of my values and a purpose that I’ll probably attempt to fulfill my whole life.

If I looked back at the news then, I was most likely reading about protests, the way COVID-19 had become political, and the upcoming election. While the world always has many problems, I may have been seeing a lack of kindness during those times.

I also live to make memories with those I love and experience new things, and there were stretches last year that were obviously missing the fun. While not all of 2020 was terrible and I have good memories too, these are glimpses of moments I felt off balance, most likely because I wasn’t able to live within key values at the time.

If you’re looking to include more purpose within each day, it might help to look back at 2020 and what you experienced. Maybe you’ll learn more about yourself and what you love if you remember what you lost.